--Timothy Hogg
The night that the heat finally cooled from the city, dissipating from the freshly tarred streets, the cool air provided an abundance of much needed sleep for most of it's residents. Dreams became clearer in the coolness of the night, less abrasive, more visceral. He awoke in the middle of the night, the last dream all too much a reality. This began during the heat, but the dreams themselves were less clear but more horrific. He would lie there afterwards, sweat glistening from his pores in the night glow, wondering what was causing these dreams of discontent. Not this night--the cool air brought forth a moment of almost euphoric haze, his body no longer trying to sweat out the badness inside of him.
There is something here and there is something missing, lost.
The stress from the days had been compiling into the night for everyone--people here need their slumber in order to rinse their sins from their minds each night. When the heat leaks into the night, there is no escape, no savior or solstice. It is a natural ebb and flow, much like the ocean that drives the weather--when there is no release of the hot air, the clouds begin to produce thunder heads, pent up angst, demanding a release.
His mind recants to a different time in a different place, the opposite side of the rock, a place where the heat is not controlled by the days, but by the season. There is never any escape from the heat, but the end of summer.
Read more!
04 August 2009
27 June 2009
...on Michael Jackson

It is sad that M.J. has done has last moonwalk, but make no mistake: the real sadness is about to plague the media for the next couple of weeks. There will certainly be a special cast of characters brought out of the woodwork to showcase just how pathetic the "King of Pop" existence was. For the next several months, we will be constantly hearing about the wrongful death, how the doctor is to blame and how people like the Reverend Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson are there to aid and assist the family in their time of need.
We will allow grow pathetically tired of it.
Brining out people like Jesse Jackson and Sharpton do nothing but kill any sense of reality that this story had.
However, they do seem to serve as the most ideal representatives of a family that has mooched off of Michaels extreme wealth and good fortune--and they seem to be the ones to blame for Jackson's condition.
Michael Jackson was in a very special group of Hollywood's most elite, Liz Taylor, Liza Minelli and all the rest of the plastic population spending their good fortune obsessed with never growing old, yet looking so far away from the human condition that they don't appear young, but moreso Alien.
Jackson, like most Pop artists, had a moment in time where he was a talent, a prodigy, a hero--but something seems to happen when you get as big as he did, some of the minds internal wiring came undone -- so many friends, yet no one seems to care that you are killing yourself slowly inside--and they just stand by, waiting for him to unravel in front of their eyes--that must be the most sad thing about all of it--was that it very could have been that everyone in the world was his friend, yet no one could save him.
...and now, all we get to do is simply stand by and watch the vultures circle around his carcass, seeping each droplet of blood and gold that they can.
This is what makes the world such a sad place.
Read more!
22 June 2009
the dust is beginning to settle
....fragments of everything have come together.
yet some grow further apart.
Lili has been here for close to a month and we are finally beginning to feel somewhat settled into the place and things are beginning to come together. I feel like I will once again be able to take up this blog and writing again as soon as I can get my head out of the work I am engaged in and begin to think about the next steps of what were going to do for the next couple of years.
We watched a little No Reservations this evening, with Anthony Bourdain and it made us both linger for the open road-- specifically Brazil. Although finances do not allow for such a trip just now, it is on our minds and we will eventually hit the road again, this time as a married couple, our lives connected in every possible legal way... It will be a nice way to travel and I look forward to spending many days wandering around this earth with my wife.
I have a week of work left before getting laid off, but I can't seem to start freaking out about it. The last 9 months of work have been good, easy and fun, but all things must come to an end and this job was beginning to get overly boring and mentally taxing, so I am not all that sad that things are coming to an end. We all like money, we all need money and there is a certain level of comfort one has from having the same old job, but there wasn't much of a future in the team I was in-- I need something that continues to have some level of excitement in it, along with a sense of accomplishment, mixed with the greater good.
I do wish that we did have a small nest egg left over, mostly because we need to travel during this free time we have, for there soon will not be that shared time that we can both enjoy at the same time. This is the way of the world. Read more!
yet some grow further apart.
Lili has been here for close to a month and we are finally beginning to feel somewhat settled into the place and things are beginning to come together. I feel like I will once again be able to take up this blog and writing again as soon as I can get my head out of the work I am engaged in and begin to think about the next steps of what were going to do for the next couple of years.
We watched a little No Reservations this evening, with Anthony Bourdain and it made us both linger for the open road-- specifically Brazil. Although finances do not allow for such a trip just now, it is on our minds and we will eventually hit the road again, this time as a married couple, our lives connected in every possible legal way... It will be a nice way to travel and I look forward to spending many days wandering around this earth with my wife.
I have a week of work left before getting laid off, but I can't seem to start freaking out about it. The last 9 months of work have been good, easy and fun, but all things must come to an end and this job was beginning to get overly boring and mentally taxing, so I am not all that sad that things are coming to an end. We all like money, we all need money and there is a certain level of comfort one has from having the same old job, but there wasn't much of a future in the team I was in-- I need something that continues to have some level of excitement in it, along with a sense of accomplishment, mixed with the greater good.
I do wish that we did have a small nest egg left over, mostly because we need to travel during this free time we have, for there soon will not be that shared time that we can both enjoy at the same time. This is the way of the world. Read more!
02 June 2009
Alligator Pie
Finally, a moment to write.
So much to talk about, so many things to discuss and its almost midnight, so allow me to just puke it all out and put it into it's right place later.
Special thanks to Jason and Apple for opening up their house to me and making it possible to pay off some bills and save a few dimes before Lili arrived.
Since I have just used arrived in the past tense, this means that she is in fact, here. Lili arrived Wednesday afternoon, which I must say is one of the most exciting and strange moments of my life. It was the moment where it all became a reality, all of the waiting, all of the phone calls, all of the stress, worry and everything else you can image came to a closer as she called me on her cellphone and said, "I'm down at baggage claim."
The details of that are for another time...
The last several weeks leading up to this moment were gradually getting busier and busier, both in my professional life as well as my private life. Work at Microsoft has been fast paced and higher stress as Windows 7 comes closer to release.
Apartment hunting was also total choas. Jason and Apple wanted to get the place ready for when her brother moves here from Thailand and I decided it would be better for us to move into our own place and not have anytime in the basement while we looked-- so I started to look...
and look...
and look...
Seattle has had some definitive times where it has really had a building boom-- you can see it in the design of places (Hello brown 70's cabinets!!)
..and along with that comes the new modern, green, green look-alike over-priced postage stamps .. Searching and searching to find the right place in the right neighboorhood-- Fremont (nothing good for the price), Ballard (Old and New, see above), Magnolia (Too Goddamn Far, train tracks) Green Lake (nicer places) and Ravenna (where we settled).
The place is perfect-- right near good places to see and hang, third flood with a deck, tiki torches, 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms... perfect-- especially after looking at other boxes of crap throughout the city-- Lili instantly feel in love with it and each day it is becoming more and more our place.
All of that, mixed with a glorious couple weeks of some well needed sun and a new Dave Matthews Band album to boot!!!
Anyway, I will get into more details later-- just wanted to put an entry in because the office I have been waiting years for and the wife I have waited decades for are all here now, so you will be hearing a lot more from me than before.
Hope all is well, wherever you happen to be on the rock.
Abidingly... Read more!
So much to talk about, so many things to discuss and its almost midnight, so allow me to just puke it all out and put it into it's right place later.
Special thanks to Jason and Apple for opening up their house to me and making it possible to pay off some bills and save a few dimes before Lili arrived.
Since I have just used arrived in the past tense, this means that she is in fact, here. Lili arrived Wednesday afternoon, which I must say is one of the most exciting and strange moments of my life. It was the moment where it all became a reality, all of the waiting, all of the phone calls, all of the stress, worry and everything else you can image came to a closer as she called me on her cellphone and said, "I'm down at baggage claim."
The details of that are for another time...
The last several weeks leading up to this moment were gradually getting busier and busier, both in my professional life as well as my private life. Work at Microsoft has been fast paced and higher stress as Windows 7 comes closer to release.
Apartment hunting was also total choas. Jason and Apple wanted to get the place ready for when her brother moves here from Thailand and I decided it would be better for us to move into our own place and not have anytime in the basement while we looked-- so I started to look...
and look...
and look...
Seattle has had some definitive times where it has really had a building boom-- you can see it in the design of places (Hello brown 70's cabinets!!)
..and along with that comes the new modern, green, green look-alike over-priced postage stamps .. Searching and searching to find the right place in the right neighboorhood-- Fremont (nothing good for the price), Ballard (Old and New, see above), Magnolia (Too Goddamn Far, train tracks) Green Lake (nicer places) and Ravenna (where we settled).
The place is perfect-- right near good places to see and hang, third flood with a deck, tiki torches, 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms... perfect-- especially after looking at other boxes of crap throughout the city-- Lili instantly feel in love with it and each day it is becoming more and more our place.
All of that, mixed with a glorious couple weeks of some well needed sun and a new Dave Matthews Band album to boot!!!
Anyway, I will get into more details later-- just wanted to put an entry in because the office I have been waiting years for and the wife I have waited decades for are all here now, so you will be hearing a lot more from me than before.
Hope all is well, wherever you happen to be on the rock.
Abidingly... Read more!
10 April 2009
Ashes of America, thoughts on Wilco...
Tonight, Neil and I went to see the new Wilco film, Ashes of American Flags. It was playing at the Northwest Film Forum, up on Capitol Hill, where the arts are. I have been looking forward to this release for quite some time, looking forward to going to the cinema and taking a few moments out of my life to enjoy a documentary. This is something I don't do enough of, yet I, like most of you, spend time in front of the tube, trying to gain enjoyment from shows like Lost, 24, etc... Let me tell you that we are wasting our time. That become evident tonight as I was watching this band, this Wilco band, play and discuss life in Hi-Definition. It felt good to be alive.
There is something about this band that I just have this connection with-- it's difficult to explain if you have never gotten that experience from music. The high comes from the simple fact of being in the aura of greatness. To be with a group of people who are on that journey of righteousness, where what they do is coming together so perfectly that it really doesn't matter who's watching or paying attention because they know that the music itself speaks more collectively and timeless than they ever could.
The film just makes you enjoy that moment, sitting with a great friend, living it together.
The film, out on DVD on Tuesday, features a number of performances across their trip through the southern US, last summer. Places like Mobile, Alabama, New Orleans, Tulsa are all featured as the band blazes through the south. Lili and I had the pleasure of seeing them in the early summer last year and it was very similar to what you see on this DVD.
The main focus is on the music, with a little documentary style conversations blended in. The combination leaves me wanting to hear more details about what really makes this band tick so well-- such a dizzying array of musicians working together in what appears to be unison-- it almost seems to good to be true-- and maybe it is. Tweedy alludes to the possibility of another switch in the band being possible, "but not John", a reference to bassist John Stirrit, who I think is the only original Wilco member now, sans Tweedy.
Regardless, this band seems to be at the peak of their performance--it doesn't seem like it could get better, but as Tweedy's Dad says at the end of the film, they just keep going and getting better and better.
Well said.
If only there were more moments like this one.
Hope you're all well.
08 April 2009
..thoughts of Iran...
..Iran, a country that is so hated and feared by the U.S.
Like most of our enemies, we know nothing about who these people are or what they are about. Even in all the studies in College I took regarding the Middle East, we didn't spend much time on Iran.
Tonight, Rick Steves shows his trip to Iran. 15 days of carrying around a high defination video camera, people fearing him as much as he feared them. What comes out of it is really good glimpse into a county that we know nothing about.
"Here is a country that seems so conservative to us, but they are just trying to keep their youth from being Britney Spears!"-- ok, maybe that is a little crazy, but the point is well made.
What a stimulating, visceral show this is-- touring through Tehran-- a crazy city that reminds me of cruising through Beijing-- a city that has the same stereotypes, but since we do business with them, we see them differently than those crazy Iranians....
Just something to ponder... Read more!
Like most of our enemies, we know nothing about who these people are or what they are about. Even in all the studies in College I took regarding the Middle East, we didn't spend much time on Iran.
Tonight, Rick Steves shows his trip to Iran. 15 days of carrying around a high defination video camera, people fearing him as much as he feared them. What comes out of it is really good glimpse into a county that we know nothing about.
"Here is a country that seems so conservative to us, but they are just trying to keep their youth from being Britney Spears!"-- ok, maybe that is a little crazy, but the point is well made.
What a stimulating, visceral show this is-- touring through Tehran-- a crazy city that reminds me of cruising through Beijing-- a city that has the same stereotypes, but since we do business with them, we see them differently than those crazy Iranians....
Just something to ponder... Read more!
Labels:
Iran,
propoganda,
travelling
18 March 2009
Approved!
It's been awhile.
This is mostly due to working a full-time position, trying to get back into shape and not really having much to report. Since coming back from my latest trip, which I blogged here, I have not been doing much other than working and working out.
I am happy to share that we rec'd notification from the Visa Center that Lili's application was approved, so now we are just waiting to hear the date of the interview, which they only schedule in the second week of every month, so we missed March and will have to wait until April... which means May is the earliest possible date to get Lili here, but it could also be anytime later than that... but it looks like it will be May-- and just in time for Sasquatch Music Festival, which hopefully I will blogging about at some point.
So that's great news.
I am also in the process of working harder on the book that I have in before. It's coming together--working through the parts that don't connect so well is the hardest challange for me right now.
So, there's the updates...
Hope all is well and I promise to write more as I have time. Read more!
This is mostly due to working a full-time position, trying to get back into shape and not really having much to report. Since coming back from my latest trip, which I blogged here, I have not been doing much other than working and working out.
I am happy to share that we rec'd notification from the Visa Center that Lili's application was approved, so now we are just waiting to hear the date of the interview, which they only schedule in the second week of every month, so we missed March and will have to wait until April... which means May is the earliest possible date to get Lili here, but it could also be anytime later than that... but it looks like it will be May-- and just in time for Sasquatch Music Festival, which hopefully I will blogging about at some point.
So that's great news.
I am also in the process of working harder on the book that I have in before. It's coming together--working through the parts that don't connect so well is the hardest challange for me right now.
So, there's the updates...
Hope all is well and I promise to write more as I have time. Read more!
04 January 2009
back from the Isle of Wight...
Travel during the holidays can be a challange-- especially when the travel is about 40% around the world. This travel time I seemed to have gotten out of Seattle just in time, as the airports experienced hellacious delays and cancallations just hours after my flight from Seattle to Dussoldorph.
There is something very special about Germany during the holidays-- with the open Christmas markets, loaded with one of a kind trinkets, plenty of gluvine and some of the most delicious delights known to man--freshly cooked waffles with Cherry toppings, backfisch, potato pancakes, thuringer sausages--just to name a few things. It all feels very merry indeed. This is the second Christmas we have spent here in the Weimar Republic and each of them were very special and relaxing.
The one minor thing about spending the new year in Germany is the time between Christmas and new years-- the country literally shuts down during this time of the year, which can proved to be a little bit dull. Lili and I were both aware of this slowdown and started to consider places to go during the time--and since it might be the last time that I am here for a while, we considered both Munich and England--and decided to go and visit my Dad's Cousin Andy, his wife Mandy and their three lovely children, Jacob, Jemma and Ben Furbish (or Furbirino, as he prefers to be called).
It was nothing short of a brillant stay-- we arrived late Monday night and stayed until Saturday afternoon-- 6 nights and 5 days in all and most of it was simply spent getting to know a part of the family which I have always loved from afar-- Jacob and Mr. Furbirino I had never met before in person.
The highlight of the trip was the 70's New Year party, held at the local Community Center.. As you can see by the pictures, we had a wonderful time!!
The best part of the trip was seeing a side of my father that I have never known. I had always wanted to visit the areas where he grew up, but was only there when I was a young kid. Seeing and understanding that community where he is from helps me understand things from his point of view-- as we get older I think all of us has a harder time to understand other peoples perceptions--we see the world through our own rose coloured glasses and that is it, sometimes. Travelling to the Isle of Wight allowed me to see and hear the stories of my father and his family before he moved to the States and to walk the same streets he walked as a child, which was an important thing for me to do.
It was also good to spend time with family, something I don't really get to do very often as my family has become split over the years and doesn't communicate as well as they should-- over the years people change and too much tension builds up over the years and people lose touch. No matter how much I want to battle against this kind of thing, I know that I will fall victim to the same problem when the years go by. It's an easy thing to happen, we all get busy in our lives and if the rearview mirror doesn't look so bright, we don't bother to look back at such things.
Anyway, thats my two cents for now.
27 December 2008
You've Got to Spend some time, love...
Hello and Good morning from Germany.
The weather has been very nice -- we went to the Netherlands yesterday and I am excited to report that the cord jacket that I have always wanted- you know the one, with the leather elbow pads, the one that smoking professors use?
I would provide a pic of it, but the ones on the web dont do it justice-- but I am sure that there will be plenty of pictures taken with it on... :)
Lili's parents also bought me a rather terrific Wool jacket from Polo as well. All in all, a great Christmas for books, but I do miss my own family, they seem so far away from me during the holidays.
We are headed to England in a few days, which I am very excited about. It will be very cool to see my cousins and hopefully loads of other people that I have lost contact with. We are staying on the Isle of Wight through New Years and coming back to Germany on the 3rd and I fly back out on the 7th.
Its been a good trip thus far-- and it hasn't been as spendy as one might think-- but as always, you spend too much :).
Photos later... Read more!
The weather has been very nice -- we went to the Netherlands yesterday and I am excited to report that the cord jacket that I have always wanted- you know the one, with the leather elbow pads, the one that smoking professors use?
I would provide a pic of it, but the ones on the web dont do it justice-- but I am sure that there will be plenty of pictures taken with it on... :)
Lili's parents also bought me a rather terrific Wool jacket from Polo as well. All in all, a great Christmas for books, but I do miss my own family, they seem so far away from me during the holidays.
We are headed to England in a few days, which I am very excited about. It will be very cool to see my cousins and hopefully loads of other people that I have lost contact with. We are staying on the Isle of Wight through New Years and coming back to Germany on the 3rd and I fly back out on the 7th.
Its been a good trip thus far-- and it hasn't been as spendy as one might think-- but as always, you spend too much :).
Photos later... Read more!
24 December 2008
Merry Christmas, with Mariah even...
The Holidays are a time for peace and reflection. Taking this time to be with my wives family in Germany is special as much as it is relaxing. We share this time together, but there is also a lot of time for individual thought -- even if Mariah Carey's Christmas album is playing on the hi-fi and it is right now. :)
Read more!
I am currently reading Robert Fisks latest work -- a collection of essays he has published and the more I read it, the more I am reminded of my father and myself. Fisk is a man of his own will and nature-- and the declarations he makes when he isn't reporting are spot on with the theories I have grown up to know, but without the sometimes cynical approach that comes with realizing that things in our lives are the way they are for a very specific reason, even though it doesn't appear that way.
The latest essays that I have been reading focus directly on the written words-- the power of them and the power of their destruction-- namely the laptop that I am writing all of this on-- the fear by Fisk-- and I do take this with a grain of salt, is that something is really lost in the lack of writing things out-- and having a copy of those materials-- when this laptop becomes the mainstay of our communications, it does simplify things, but that in turn, complicates things. Without having those handwritten notes about certain things, we leave the archieves of our work up to the machine-- so much of my writing is on this site-- what if they simply ran out of capital and closed up shop? What if their server room caught on fire? Where would my words be then?
Also, as I am writing this, you, the reader, will read it as soon as I click that little orange button-- this is an amazing power-- the power to instantly send information out to the masses, but there has been a huge cost for all of this information overload-- this distribution of thought and opinion is killing off the gatekeepers of information, the press-- and that is never, ever going to be a good thing-- especially given the tough times that are right around the corner.
Luckily, I have thought of this and I do have backups of my data here on the site-- it has been copied down long ago-- just in case.
But the point remains the same, writing and communication is suffering because of the overload of communication that we get from a variety of sources throughout our daily lives.
So, on this Christmas day, I want to thank you, the reader, for taking time to listen to me ramble on in this wonderfully dreadful medium of communications...
Labels:
christmas,
communication,
Robert Fisk
21 December 2008
..In Germania
I have safely arrived in Germany a few days ago and have seemingly recovered from the jetlag. Looks like I got out of Seattle just in time, as the news reports have the area looking quite dismal as predicted. The incliment weather seems to affect Seattle more than any other place-- due to the hills and lack of resources in getting the roads and commerce taken care of.
When Jason and Apple took me to the airport, it had snowed the night before, so it was a slight challange to get up our little hill, but we made it to the airport without any problems-- however, the storm bore down just hours after my flight left Sea-Tac.
The flight was far from the worst flight I have had-- Delta tries to do as little as possible to be anything more than slightly accomodating, but for the measly $505.00 I paid for a round-trip ticket, I can hardly complain about it all that much.
I am happy to report that everything is fine in Germany. Lili was crying when I got out of customs, which took much longer than usual-- my bags were literally one of the last ones out of the plane and it was so good to see her. My father in law, Uwe, was also there and were all delighted to be re-united once again for the holidays.
The first night we stayed in a nice hotel in Koln city center and arrived at the house yesterday afternoon. Lili's parents headed off to their company Christmas party and then they will head off the Bremerhaven for a couple of days. Lili and I are going to the Christmas Market tonight to meet up with her friends, eat some food and drink as much gluvine as we can stomach. She is yelling at me to get ready, so I will finish this off later.
Stay varm in Seattle! Read more!
When Jason and Apple took me to the airport, it had snowed the night before, so it was a slight challange to get up our little hill, but we made it to the airport without any problems-- however, the storm bore down just hours after my flight left Sea-Tac.
The flight was far from the worst flight I have had-- Delta tries to do as little as possible to be anything more than slightly accomodating, but for the measly $505.00 I paid for a round-trip ticket, I can hardly complain about it all that much.
I am happy to report that everything is fine in Germany. Lili was crying when I got out of customs, which took much longer than usual-- my bags were literally one of the last ones out of the plane and it was so good to see her. My father in law, Uwe, was also there and were all delighted to be re-united once again for the holidays.
The first night we stayed in a nice hotel in Koln city center and arrived at the house yesterday afternoon. Lili's parents headed off to their company Christmas party and then they will head off the Bremerhaven for a couple of days. Lili and I are going to the Christmas Market tonight to meet up with her friends, eat some food and drink as much gluvine as we can stomach. She is yelling at me to get ready, so I will finish this off later.
Stay varm in Seattle! Read more!
Labels:
cologne,
Delta airlines,
Koln,
Seattle
14 December 2008
Well, heres the thing:
Read more!
Lili's been cleared from the Department of Homeland Security, so this hiatus has finally progressed to another level, which is a good thing. The hardest part of getting through this process is now complete and now it is on to the National Visa Center, for a final check, before she comes into this country for as long as she wants and we begin our lives together. It has been very difficult on me, these last few months, as I beging to discover that there isn't really anyone else I want to spend time with except her and all that has been and all that there will be is reliant on when we can be together. For now, its just a waiting game, where I drift through the days until we are together.
...and we will be together in just a few short days from now. As I write this, my mind drifts to just three days from now, when I will be boarding a plane to see my wife in Germany, another Christmas abroad, a few moments before we finalize the immigration papers and start our life together. I am looking forward to this trip, even though its in the dead of winter-- its going to be a good time to again be with the family that I now a part of and to see them and spend time with them once again-- it should be a very special time.
Still working on the book and I am still telling myself its going well-- so take from that what you will. I am trying to come up with a title that I find fitting, but I would like to get enough of it done to where I feel satisfied with it.
24 November 2008
Clearing out all the cobwebs
Like most of us in the US these days, my mind is simply swirling at just where we as a country. Here we are headed into Winter and the doom and gloom seems to be here more significant than usual--and this is through eight years of bush.
I am trying my best to clear all of these thoughts out of my head and begin to once again address the book, so stay tuned. The next month will be filled with writings that I am hoping to supply--because lets face it, we all need to escape to another time in our lives... :)
Hope you're all doing well. Read more!
I am trying my best to clear all of these thoughts out of my head and begin to once again address the book, so stay tuned. The next month will be filled with writings that I am hoping to supply--because lets face it, we all need to escape to another time in our lives... :)
Hope you're all doing well. Read more!
16 November 2008
Melon Collie and the Infinite Sadness

The common question when seeing people that I haven't seen in a bit is a mixture of questions of the past and the future-- how was the wedding and how is it without your wife not being in the country?
At this point in my life, I feel like I am in limbo, no direction, no way home, just waiting, lurking in the shadows, waiting for the moment when my wife is allowed to enter the country so that we can then begin our lives together.
This time has not been easy, so difficult that at times you try not to think of it, whatever you have to do to get away from it, to get away from the reality of your life being on hold because of the government.
During this time, I have had the opportunity to work on myself the way that I have wanted to since coming back from China-- losing the weight that I quickly put on from spending a year in China. I lost 50 pounds in China and gained 100 coming back. I made a promise to myself when I got married and could barely fit into a suit that enough was enough-- I was going to take my life back and begin to make decisions that need to be made because I want to have a life and I want to be a role model for my children-- someone that they can look up to in any case.
So I have spent the last three months going to the gym and trying to take care of myself, trying to develop myself into a routine, getting things straight, mentally and physically so that I could begin this new life with my wife, fresh and anew.
Today was a celebratory breaking point-- I reached the first of my goals since undertaking this challenge and it was done with the help of the Smashing Pumpkins Mellon Collie and The Infinite Sadness, a complex double album of songs that supposedly chronicle the different stages of life, from sadness to joy to anger to enlightenment...
I have listened to this album hundreds of times, seen the band perform it live in their pajamas and it is one of the en grained soundtracks of my life. It is one of the strongest albums ever recorded and each time I listen to it, I think about all the times around it in life.
In some ways it seems like the perfect thing to listen to while hitting the elliptical machine for 60 minutes-- and the first part of Mellon Collie lasts 56 minutes-- so I am looking forward to hitting the next part of the album on the next goal-- or maybe on the plane as I am going to see my wife for the first time in months...
But I am keeping my head up, looking forward to the future, one moment at a time...
Hope youre all well.
Read more!
Labels:
germany,
mellon collie,
sadness,
smashing pumpkins,
tim hogg
06 November 2008
On Obama...
After years of campaigning relentlessly for the candidates and their armies of people, the war was won handily by the democrats. I, like most of the people, am glad its over.
I am also happy that it wasn't close, that we didn't have to wait all night to realize who the next leader would be-- the message was clearer than it ever has been in my entire life-- the words of the American spoken as close to unison as we have seen in quite some time-- and that message was clear- Obama.
The biggest thing that we can hope for in the this country is that we begin to once again begin the process of functioning like the America that I remember-- a land with prosperity, a place where people wanted to come to attempt the American dream-- a place of freedom. The last eight years have really turned people against each other because most people were seemingly unhappy about something-- and it seemed like Tuesday night we gained our souls back again, the balance of power from eight years of misrepresented government washed away in the hopes of our new leader.
Barrack Obama is legit-- that is the best way to describe it-- he is the perfect leader of our country and will open up so many options for all of us because he will not need to be guided through the rough world of politics-- his biggest financial backer are the American people, people like you and I, people who donated our actual income to this man because the basic things that he thinks and says are exactly what we are saying and thinking.
It just feels good to be an American again. Read more!
I am also happy that it wasn't close, that we didn't have to wait all night to realize who the next leader would be-- the message was clearer than it ever has been in my entire life-- the words of the American spoken as close to unison as we have seen in quite some time-- and that message was clear- Obama.
The biggest thing that we can hope for in the this country is that we begin to once again begin the process of functioning like the America that I remember-- a land with prosperity, a place where people wanted to come to attempt the American dream-- a place of freedom. The last eight years have really turned people against each other because most people were seemingly unhappy about something-- and it seemed like Tuesday night we gained our souls back again, the balance of power from eight years of misrepresented government washed away in the hopes of our new leader.
Barrack Obama is legit-- that is the best way to describe it-- he is the perfect leader of our country and will open up so many options for all of us because he will not need to be guided through the rough world of politics-- his biggest financial backer are the American people, people like you and I, people who donated our actual income to this man because the basic things that he thinks and says are exactly what we are saying and thinking.
It just feels good to be an American again. Read more!
14 October 2008
from the shoreline basement.
As I am now back to work, I finally have the time to lie on my couch and enjoy some reading. This reading is an evil thing, mind you. Its not like television where you have things constantly dancing in front of you for how ever long its on-- no, this reading thing actually gets you thinking about things!
Not only are you thinking about the reading you are doing, but your mind is also attempting to put these things into a video like sequence inside of you head to make the words seem more appealing!
I know, I can hardly contain myself!
Last night I went and saw Sarah Vowell speaking at Town Hall. It was just what I needed to pull myself out of the rut I have been in lately--thus rut which is mostly brought on by the upcoming election and how most conversations either involve that--or television.
Vowell has a new book out, The Wordy Shipmates, which I have instantly (and not intentionally), put in front of the other masses of literary schwag I have purchased since getting that first back at work paycheck just a few short weeks ago...
...and I am glad that I did just that.
Her talk last night was specifically arranged to showcase the book, but she didnt read for long and when she was done, a question and answer period followed. She was kind and it was not as tiresome as it normally is--there were actually moments where I was quite interested in the book and so purchased it and got it and a couple of McSweeney's along, which she remarked that she hadn't actually seen them in awhile.
So, it has inspired me once again to begin reading and writing again.
But now I must go and zone out at the gym.
Hope you're well.
Heading to Pullman this weekend, the first time since graduation. Read more!
Not only are you thinking about the reading you are doing, but your mind is also attempting to put these things into a video like sequence inside of you head to make the words seem more appealing!
I know, I can hardly contain myself!
Last night I went and saw Sarah Vowell speaking at Town Hall. It was just what I needed to pull myself out of the rut I have been in lately--thus rut which is mostly brought on by the upcoming election and how most conversations either involve that--or television.
Vowell has a new book out, The Wordy Shipmates, which I have instantly (and not intentionally), put in front of the other masses of literary schwag I have purchased since getting that first back at work paycheck just a few short weeks ago...
...and I am glad that I did just that.
Her talk last night was specifically arranged to showcase the book, but she didnt read for long and when she was done, a question and answer period followed. She was kind and it was not as tiresome as it normally is--there were actually moments where I was quite interested in the book and so purchased it and got it and a couple of McSweeney's along, which she remarked that she hadn't actually seen them in awhile.
So, it has inspired me once again to begin reading and writing again.
But now I must go and zone out at the gym.
Hope you're well.
Heading to Pullman this weekend, the first time since graduation. Read more!
Labels:
Sarah Vowell,
Wordy Shipmates,
writing
07 October 2008
...moments before another debate
This one is supposed to be different than the other ones.
This one is done in a town hall style, with people asking questions that will no doubt be read from a card, real people asking rehearsed questions.
What do I expect in the next hour and half?
Lots of nothing-- a serious lack of McCain answering questions about the economy, Obama not calling him on it, vice versa.
The American public will once again come away from this wondering how the hell we got to where we are, afraid to discuss the issues that are directly impacting us and the way that we live. All of this goes without us really being present in the process.
Heres a question:
1. What do you think of the arrests of journalists and protesters from the GOP convention? Read more!
This one is done in a town hall style, with people asking questions that will no doubt be read from a card, real people asking rehearsed questions.
What do I expect in the next hour and half?
Lots of nothing-- a serious lack of McCain answering questions about the economy, Obama not calling him on it, vice versa.
The American public will once again come away from this wondering how the hell we got to where we are, afraid to discuss the issues that are directly impacting us and the way that we live. All of this goes without us really being present in the process.
Heres a question:
1. What do you think of the arrests of journalists and protesters from the GOP convention? Read more!
05 October 2008
...from Redmond.
I have decided to start using the title of each posting as where I am posting it from... So today, its ...from Redmond as I am sitting in my office in building 28 of the Micrsoft campus working on a release of something new for MS (but thats all I will say on the internets about it).
I have been spending much of my days frustrated and unable to write about whats happening politically in our country because I think we are all suffering greatly from the sensory overload that the upcoming election is having upon us.
It feels good to just pull away from all of the pure bullshit and not think about it--because for most of us, its just depressing that these are the best that America offers up to the highest position in the land.
Don't get me wrong. This is the first time in my entire life that I have felt connected to a candidate and that I mostly agree with-- I really do think that Obama as president will do one major thing for the rest of this country above all others--and that is bring hope and trust back into politics. The two foundations of our entire way of life is based on two basic principals: Hope and Trust. Both of these things have been erased by the previous administration and we need to get it back to an even playfield.
Hope and faith are what are going to restore the economy and nothing else.
--back to work... Read more!
I have been spending much of my days frustrated and unable to write about whats happening politically in our country because I think we are all suffering greatly from the sensory overload that the upcoming election is having upon us.
It feels good to just pull away from all of the pure bullshit and not think about it--because for most of us, its just depressing that these are the best that America offers up to the highest position in the land.
Don't get me wrong. This is the first time in my entire life that I have felt connected to a candidate and that I mostly agree with-- I really do think that Obama as president will do one major thing for the rest of this country above all others--and that is bring hope and trust back into politics. The two foundations of our entire way of life is based on two basic principals: Hope and Trust. Both of these things have been erased by the previous administration and we need to get it back to an even playfield.
Hope and faith are what are going to restore the economy and nothing else.
--back to work... Read more!
Labels:
biden,
Election 2008,
faith,
leadership,
Obama,
Palin
14 September 2008
Thoughts...
Hello again my friends, Hello.
I have not been especially busy with anything worth mentioning lately, except finalizing job prospects and watching way too much television.
I have a new job, with Microsoft, on a contract, which starts on Wednesday.
The big thing that has been consuming my thoughts lately has been this terrible courting by the media to talk non-stop about the political process that we are currently entrenched in.
Three years in the making, this political season must go down as the worst one in history, mostly because we have had to endure these people for the last several years and although the faces have changed, the agenda hasn't altered hardly at all.
The way that the news networks are going about this, it will be difficult to imagine how anyone will be able to vote with their heart.
Is it intentional? Read more!
I have not been especially busy with anything worth mentioning lately, except finalizing job prospects and watching way too much television.
I have a new job, with Microsoft, on a contract, which starts on Wednesday.
The big thing that has been consuming my thoughts lately has been this terrible courting by the media to talk non-stop about the political process that we are currently entrenched in.
Three years in the making, this political season must go down as the worst one in history, mostly because we have had to endure these people for the last several years and although the faces have changed, the agenda hasn't altered hardly at all.
The way that the news networks are going about this, it will be difficult to imagine how anyone will be able to vote with their heart.
Is it intentional? Read more!
02 September 2008
Ooooh the Politics of it all...
So here we are in the middle of the political season and this will be remembered as one of the most disjointed runs for the presidency since... well, I would think if it had to be compared to another time, then since the civil war.
The republican party is in the midst of one of the hardest attempts to retain its control on the oval office and carry out a failed agenda that has been going on since the Reagan years, if not sooner. However, they know that this agenda is not going to work and now they are trying to distance themselves as far away from themselves as they can and still call themselves the GOP.
Why?
I don't know, to be terribly honest.
The biggest thing I can see is that the power of the GOP sees that the only way to compete in this election is to launch a marketing campaign that shows that this is the new Republican Party!
...and what a new party it is. They end up with McCain, who is now being heralded as a "maverick" by the very institution that he belongs to-- it seems like such a weird and twisted concept and one that I cannot seem to understand how people are going to fall for this.
..and this was before Sarah Palin entered the picture. This is like the greatest gift to the Dem's that anyone could ask for-- and such a pitiful move on the part of the McCain camp who barely investigated this woman before rolling her out to the American public. Everyday since the announcement there have been new and exciting revelations about the Annie Oakley of American politics-- the moose shooting hockey mom that went against the corrupt and bribe ridden establishment of Alaska in just two short years!
This is a clear smoke signal to distract the American people from the issues--instead we focus more on the hockey mom and her non-birth control family that is growing by the day (oh wait, were supposed to leave her family affairs out of this), her record of two years as Governor and previous years as a mayor of a town smaller than my graduating class at University, and the years before where she actually supported Alaska attempting to resign from the 50 states, among many other little quips-- this woman even makes my liberal leaning brain turn a bit conservative.
Not too mention her belief in drilling in Alaska--NPR did a great job of researching the fact that Palin went against Bush in his attempts to put the Polar bear on the endangered species list, because it would interfere with Oil exploration.
The last eight years I keep wondering to myself how the hell this could have happened, but now I realize its because people are so aloof when it comes to these issues and the politicians work hard to market their candidate in just the right way so that it confuses that middle ground where we all should be.
These two yahoos just make my pick from six months ago, Mr. Joe Biden, look like the patron saint to the people.. Think what you want about Obama, but he clearly has the backing of the Kennedy powerhouse in this campaign--and that family is one that all of us at one point in our lives have thought somewhat highly about. This question about the ability to lead the country is just such a crock to me-- is W. really fit to lead as commander in chief?
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
Yet, we elected (sort of) to two terms of service.
Is experience really that relevant?
No.
Its all about leadership I think-- someone that is going to respected in the INTERNATIONAL COMMUNITY and can also reach out to Americans--and this person is Obama. Having just been married in Germany, I can tell you that people across the globe are really inspired and hopeful and excited about Obama--and that is more important than moose huntin'! Read more!
The republican party is in the midst of one of the hardest attempts to retain its control on the oval office and carry out a failed agenda that has been going on since the Reagan years, if not sooner. However, they know that this agenda is not going to work and now they are trying to distance themselves as far away from themselves as they can and still call themselves the GOP.
Why?
I don't know, to be terribly honest.
The biggest thing I can see is that the power of the GOP sees that the only way to compete in this election is to launch a marketing campaign that shows that this is the new Republican Party!
...and what a new party it is. They end up with McCain, who is now being heralded as a "maverick" by the very institution that he belongs to-- it seems like such a weird and twisted concept and one that I cannot seem to understand how people are going to fall for this.
..and this was before Sarah Palin entered the picture. This is like the greatest gift to the Dem's that anyone could ask for-- and such a pitiful move on the part of the McCain camp who barely investigated this woman before rolling her out to the American public. Everyday since the announcement there have been new and exciting revelations about the Annie Oakley of American politics-- the moose shooting hockey mom that went against the corrupt and bribe ridden establishment of Alaska in just two short years!
This is a clear smoke signal to distract the American people from the issues--instead we focus more on the hockey mom and her non-birth control family that is growing by the day (oh wait, were supposed to leave her family affairs out of this), her record of two years as Governor and previous years as a mayor of a town smaller than my graduating class at University, and the years before where she actually supported Alaska attempting to resign from the 50 states, among many other little quips-- this woman even makes my liberal leaning brain turn a bit conservative.
Not too mention her belief in drilling in Alaska--NPR did a great job of researching the fact that Palin went against Bush in his attempts to put the Polar bear on the endangered species list, because it would interfere with Oil exploration.
The last eight years I keep wondering to myself how the hell this could have happened, but now I realize its because people are so aloof when it comes to these issues and the politicians work hard to market their candidate in just the right way so that it confuses that middle ground where we all should be.
These two yahoos just make my pick from six months ago, Mr. Joe Biden, look like the patron saint to the people.. Think what you want about Obama, but he clearly has the backing of the Kennedy powerhouse in this campaign--and that family is one that all of us at one point in our lives have thought somewhat highly about. This question about the ability to lead the country is just such a crock to me-- is W. really fit to lead as commander in chief?
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
Yet, we elected (sort of) to two terms of service.
Is experience really that relevant?
No.
Its all about leadership I think-- someone that is going to respected in the INTERNATIONAL COMMUNITY and can also reach out to Americans--and this person is Obama. Having just been married in Germany, I can tell you that people across the globe are really inspired and hopeful and excited about Obama--and that is more important than moose huntin'! Read more!
Labels:
biden,
GOP,
Obama,
Palin,
Sarah Palin
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