Decisions, Decisions...

and now, the stress begins.
For the last year, time has been a strange thing. At times, it couldn't click by fast enough, the days dragged on and on, while at other times the days seemed to just fade into the afterlight of memory faster than you could record them.
Every day now gets me closer and closer to the moment when I will finally leave my residency in China and head back to the states for an undetermined amount of time. My ticket has yet to be purchased, my bags are still in a dark corner, waiting...
I expect to book my flight next weekend. I am still waiting to see exactly what is going to happen with the next month--so many variables that I am hoping to make something happen by the end of the week.
We unoffically finish our instruction at the end of the month--and I will be permitted to give my final exams a week early, so that I can spend the correct amount of time grading and marking them and be done by the end of the month. At that time, I will be free to travel. I will more than likely go up to tianjin and stay with Lili for an extended period of time--maybe as long as a month. The time is really going to depend on several different factors, all financially based. I am in a slight pinch financially, so I am looking to possibly teach in a few different summer camps for some extra cash, even though the work is tedious, it will give me a good opportunity to see some other places in China that are still on the list and possibly put enough away to either go home with or go to Tibet--which has always been a dream of mine to do.
--Seems such a shame to not be able to go to Tibet and be this close to it... But we all must live on what we can afford mustn't we?
--Doesnt seem to american to do it, credit credit credit.... but sorry sir, your card appears to be cancelled...
So, it will have to wait until that moment where the American nightmare turns into the American dream... but by then the Chinese will have made Tibet into a giant disneyland and there is no need.

But anyway...

So it goes..

In a couple of months I will be back in American, servicing my debt, just like every other American and Tibet will be a world away and not my neighbor, but none of that really matters does it? Its all perspective.

So, I might have to take a couple of weeks of basically babysitting highschool kids in order to have some pocket money when I come back stateside and hunt down that job that I will need in order to connect the dots together that might put a life together for me. But, I have a lot to do in the next year it would seem--and all the pieces and the dots need to fit nicely together for it all to work...
Lili wants to come to the states and we want to see what happens. It would seem that part of my life is fixed and settled nicely, but all of the shit around it---that is what I must be mindful of...

So, in case you can't understand my hoggspeak, here is the scenerio...
End of June, finished with teaching as Xiangnan University...
July-Not sure
Option #1-Go To Tianjin and live in a dorm for about 5usd a night.
Possibly work in Tianjin for about 12.00 an hour *decent cash* but its not set in stone. There are two options that are in the distant realm of possible.
Work my arse off until about July 18th and head to Chengdu and fly to Tibet for a week.
Tibet, total cost, will be about 500usd, but it would be some of the best experiences I could ever have. So tempting...

Option #2
Go to Tianjin for a week and come back to Chenzhou and teach kids at summer camp for two weeks. Eeeek out a little cash and meet lily around the 21st when she comes back from the Tibet where I wanted to go. Hang out in Chengdu and listen to their stories.
Hang out with her until the end of July and head off to Xian and teach more kids to speak English for another two weeks--get on a flight and head back to Seattle.

Option #3
Head to Tianjin for a few weeks and job search. No job surfaces and I wait for Lili to finish her classes and then debate travelling. Most of this will be directly related to how much money I have.

Regardless of it all, I am coming back to the states for at least two weeks sometime between mid July and mid Aug. Seems fine. If the offer comes to go to Korea, I will more than likely pick up my things and go for another year. In Korea, there will not be a money issue as much as the one here because they are developed and civilized, so I am told.

So, a lot on my mind these days my friends... But in the end, it should all be okay...? At least thats what we hope for...