and you thought college food sucked...

The last couple of days have been entertaining at some points, boring as hell at other points.
Yesterday in particular was an interesting day. I decided to call my neighbor and see if he was interested in going into town to get some things taken care of.
The most important item on the agenda was trying to get this sim card issue resolved with t-mobile, my cell carrier in the United States. Before I left for China, I made sure to have a nice conversation with t-mobile to see what I needed to do to make sure that my phone worked in China. I gave them two scenarios- A) That I would like to recieve calls on my mobile phone from the US. No problem there--my phone works perfectly. If you call my old phone from the United States, it connects if I have that sim card inserted into the phone. B) I was going to purchase another sim card here in China to use for business, when I am lost, etc. Everyone has a cell here and it is cheap to run one in the country--most calls costing 1/8 of a penny. No voicemail.
We began the journey by stopping for lunch in the city--I suggested KFC because at that particular moment for no particular reason, I was tired of the Chinese food and wanted to see if the Colonial made his magic grease and sodium concoction in the same regard in Asia as it is in the U.S. I am happy to report that in fact it only bears a slight resemblance to what we know--if the 11 herbs and spices are there, the Chinese palette has added a few others to give it a more authentic Asian junk food flavor. The worst offender was the cheaper chicken sandwich, which, for the record, contained what appeared to be shredded carrots and peas--in the meat patty. Lovely. The original chicken sandwich looked much better except for the mayo, which was spread on like drywall. Big globs of mayo oozed out of the back of the bun as my friends lips were squirted with the paste. Mmm, scrumptious. The mashed potatoes and gravy were about the same, but the meat gravy was runny and made the potato turn into a dark soup upon mixing. By far the biggest disappointment was the realization that the key menu item of KFC, the cole slaw was not even on the menu. Tragic.
We finished rather quickly--our disappointment led to a hasty retreat.
As we departed, it was time to find out how to resolve the issue I was indeed having with the cell phone. The problem is that Tmobile and the other American carriers like to lock your phone so that only one sim works in that phone at any given time. As previously noted, I asked them about this and got the good ole--No problem, Mr. Hogg, your phone will be ready to work without any problems! I get here to China and what happens?
When in doubt, find a Chinese chop shop to take care of it. For 60rmb or about 8 bucks, they would hook it up to a machine and break the coding on the device to make the phone work again. To make this already long story short, we searched and searched for someone that would be able to make it happen, but no one knew what it was that we were trying to do. We went from shady shop to shady shop--the cell phone graveyards and junkyards of the orient, in search of someone who knew who to jump the phone to break the unlocking mystery of the TMOBILE.
We literally spent hours looking for the right people until finally the sun was setting and we decided to call it a day and catch the #22 bus back to the University, admitting defeat for all to witness. I decided to give it one more shot as we were waiting for the bus and went into another shop. We were met by a guy that spoke some English and he knew what we were attempting to do, but he couldn't make it happen-he directed us to another shop and told us he would take us there. We followed this kid through a mirage of shops, going upstairs and then back down, all looking for what would later come to be the "guy". We finally found him--a kid of no more than 17, cross eyed in American polo shirt. He looked at me and smiled and said the Chinese word for American. I nodded and he smiled and immediately took us into the back where a team of young kids were all working on cell phones--they were appretinces. We found the Trump of the organization--a small Asian man with a boyish like face who looked to be in his late 30's. The dialogue began to go back and forth in the loud tone that the Chinese use when conducting business. Nodding and stomping surrounds us--the technician manages a smile toward me and takes the phone ands says in a polite tone, 60.
I nod, but not like a tourist--its cheap, but there is no need to let him know this.
The waiting begins.
He works like a surgeon preped for surgery, sans cigarette hanging from his mouth as he opens up his next patient. Moments later the phone is apart-a collage of various parts strewn across the table--he is on his third cigarette as he begins what will be a regular occurrence for the next hour--he shakes his head as he looks at the board, like it was not even created on this planet.
In end, one and a half hours later, he finally gives up and hands me back my 6rmb and shakes his hands much like an orangutan once did at the Buffalo Zoo when I was a child.
We leave, our heads hung in shame. We had such hope in this man, but it was all for none.
Upon arrival back at the flat, I discover that my flat has also flooded--in the bedroom a bit and tidewater in the bathroom. As we were walking up the stairs to the flat, one of my new students comes running out of the affairs office, asks me to sit down. Immediately I know that something is amiss. Although the Chinese are strong believers in rest, this was taking it too far to be a cordial thing.
"What is the problem?"
"What is the--problem?" she asks me right back again.
"The problem--what is wrong?"
"What is--Oh! What is wrong! Your flat Mr. Tim, your flat is flooded! Look!"
She takes me into the backroom, into the spot where their bathroom is and shows me an almost constant leaking coming from their ceiling. I gasp. Thoughts of the revenge of Katrina surf through my mind. My own little tsumani might be upstairs. I start thinking about what I have left on the floor. My feet begin traveling faster than my head-- I sprint up the stairs, unlock the door, waiting for the rush of water to engulf us.
It doesn't.
There is, however, the sound of running water somewhere in the flat and it is rushing briskly. The little Chinese girl, very cute, begins to freak out at the sound.
"Mr. Tim, that is the running water. Where is it?"
Suddenly, I feel like Indiana Jones on a quest. We tiptoe in order to not disturb the leaky pipe. The levee seems to have held as we arrive at the bathroom and discover an inch of water, about ready to leak all over the carpet. Had we stopped for dinner, my things would have been lost (or washed).
When we discover the accident, my friend shrieks at the water level and jumps into the water to try to shut if off. She looks back at me when she realizes that the leak is there, but the source is somewhere else.
"Mr. Tim, look in your western style bathroom! There is a --how do you say? knob in there!"
I am stuck on the knob comment. What kind of knob? She sees my philosophical look at runs into the bathroom and turns the VALVE (or knob) off and lets out a little sigh.
We call my employer, Mr. Bob, who comes right over and has the same reaction that the girl did--like they are amazed that something like this could have happened. I nod and smile. Sometimes people seem to forget-- "This is China." Read more!

The Flat....

So, here the are-- A few pictures of the flat that I spend most of my time in. It is nicer in person than I think it appears in these pictures, but for free, you can't complain all that much....
This is the couch, which has the arm rests that fold down, very nice for us tall westerners. My sleeping bag snuck into the picture.
You can also see the computer that I am typing on right now as well.







A view from the other side--
As you can see, the fridge with the chinese ad, the nice drapes to keep the light from shining outside so that the bugs dont find my deck to hang out on all night-- the side view of the plasma tv.














Ahhh, the kitchen. Simple, chinese kitchen, complete with stains on the sides from the upstairs. Very small, cluttered space, takes some getting used to, but I bought that nice new wok featured in the picture and it works very well. The heat source is below in those propane tanks. Again, it looks much better than it is.

Another profile of the living room-- lovely. I decided to also include my current dvd collection so that you could see some of the items that we get here. Again, all of these dvds are mint quality for about $7.50 for them all. Still cant believe its that cheap!





















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First day of teaching!

I awoke this morning to the knowledge that it would be my first day teaching English to non-speaking students. I will admit that I did not prepare much for the class this morning because the textbook that I was given, English for Secretary, was quite silly. The dean and the other teachers, all Chinese also thought that this book was ridiculous and they said that I could teach whatever I chose to. Teaching is not easy work, especially when there are more than 50 students who are listening closely to everyword that you say to them. I was a little nervous walking to the building this morning because I did not prepare a structured assignment for the students and I did not have any idea of how basic or advanced their knowledge of the language was. Upon arrival to the facility, I quickly came into contact with Apple, who is the acting dean of this particular department. She is a sweet, older women with a very pleasant disposition. She immediatly gave me some green tea, both a very expensive kind from another province, which is supposidly world famous and another loose green tea which she enjoys as well. Over tea, she explained to me that many students had come to her in the last couple of days and asked her if they were going to be taught by the American, as if I am some sort of teaching professional, known in many countries! She said that her department was very pleased to have someone such as myself teaching for them and it was truly and honor for them. I felt myself blushing at all of the admiration, especially since they had yet to see how I could teach. These compliments set me at ease with what I was doing as we sat in her office sipping green tea and waiting for the moment where the school bell would toll and I would walk up to room 311 and begin my new life as a teacher.

To my surprise, Bob, or Zhifeng Chen, the guy from foreign affairs that intially offered me the position, also came to the classroom to watch me teach the class--along with Dean Apple, another dean from another one of the colleges as well as 4 teachers in this different section of the English department. So not only did I have to impress some 50 students, but 7 collegues of mine.
As the bell rang, I felt a strong burst of energy. Game on. We walked briskly up to the classroom and waited for the students to settle in. One of the other teachers forged on ahead, they wanted to annouce me to the rest of the class. I sat back, the moments speeding up, heart picking up speed as he annouced in his strong Chinese tone, blah blah blah blah Mr. Tim, America, blah blah blah and Dean Apple gave me the nod--
Thunderous applause rings out from inside of the room, these are not the college kids that I know or once was. Smiles beaming from their faces, they look at me with wonderment as I enter the room. The gasp at the fair complexion of my skin, my large frame jetting outwards in front of them as I make my way to the podium standing a few feet from my audience. They are here to hear what I have to say, what I have to teach them.
And it feels so good.

For the first time in several years, it feels good to be an American. Here politics do not matter as much as politeness does. A smile cures a thousand ailments, hapiness abounds in these lovely people. For 100 minutes today, we laughed at each others lack of understanding but applauded ourselves at what we able to overcome. I had prepared something, so after my slight intro we went into their introductions, which took up the entire class period. I had each of them write down their favorite English word and one by one, had them recite it back to me. As each student was selcted, they would stand up and say what their name in Chinese, if they had an English name, they would say what that was and then they would say their favorite word and then why it is their favorite.
Simple enough, but it produced awesome results. Some were shy, some were cordial, but all were willing to give it a shot and the students worked with each other to help them pronouce the different words--a very different enviroment than the American experience which is so competitive. There was no calling people stupid or shy, just a real willingness to help each other understand the language.

Following the lesson, I was taken out for a special lunch by bob and some of the other teachers. We went to the student "canteen", where we enjoyed Dumplings (my new fav) and peejo (beer). It was a celebration of my lesson. Each teacher could not stop expressing how very proud and happy they were of my lesson and how well the students actually responded. Many times throughout the 1.5 hour long meal they commented on how I did better than expected. I always grow a little suspect when people make comments such as this, but with these people I know that they have the best intentions. Many beers later, I bid them fairwell and made my way back to my flat, another major feat accomplished.

This is the freshman registration booth, located in the center of campus. Thus far, 8,000 new students have registered for the fall term. I have some better shots of the Unversity than this one, which I will post following this one.













Another shot of me teaching. These were taken by Bob.















My first class of students! Hard to beleive, but these are all sophomores!

At the end of class, I asked the students if they had any questions that they would like to ask me.
I was expecting what sports do you like? Are you married?
But no. The first question was:
Do you believe in God?
Without giving my answer ( I don't remember exactly what I said, but it was a perfect PR way to answer it) I would like to point out that China the official religion of China is atheist, so with that I knowledge, I attempted to give as rational an answer as possible. Read more!

I hope that you are all enjoy this documentation, I am having a blast using this a way to get my ideas floating forward.
Tommorow will be my first day as a teacher here at the University. I am looking forward to it, although I am feeling ill--have been for the last several days. I think my body is adjusting to the humidty and heat and the weather change has been quite constant in its changes.
I am not teaching the actual English majors tommorow, but rather the GER students who are pursuing a degree in something other than english, so their english is pretty bad, but I will manage...

I discovered that eyeglasses here are between 6-30 dollars for really nice frames.
"This is China". Read more!

I think that I might have mentioned the Mooncake craze here in good old China--the festival is coming up within a couple of weeks and these different displays of what I call the mooncake madness is the heart of tourism in the area. The actual festival is down in Hong Kong--the lantern festival.
I keep thinking it might be a good idea to send one of these home as a gift--then I tasted one. Not for the western palette--let's just say that.
The outside of the cake is fine, a thicker cake like batter, golden brown and very sweet, but the inside is a giant goop, crystalized complex sugar mimicking whatever flavor it is supposed to be--the worst tasted thus far was what my translator called, green tea cake. Not so good. The smaller mini cakes that have much more batter than filling are decent, but not worthy of the high price.








This could be considered the largest mooncake in the city--which is in a place which boasts that it is an American Cake House.
Which begs me to ask you, when you think of an American Cake House, what do you think of?
IHOP? Krispy Kreme?
Well, lets just say that this place doesn't serve pancakes or donuts, but cavity causing sweet breads with mystery flavors to suite any palette and the mookcakes, well, the queen bee seems to be housed here.
This moon cake fetches a whopping 3800 rmb, which is a mere $475 US. This is about what I am making per month here (as my base) and it is about what the majority of Chinese make in 6 months time.
The design is cool and all, but $475?


Welcome to Joindoon! I really need to take pictures of these places inside, but I dont want to freak these people out when I pull out the camera to show my friends back home all the wierd and wild stuff they eat here in the PRC. Let me just say that I saw a butcher gut a dove this afternoon and offer it to me. Now I am trying to be as polite as possible, but I just have no use for a Dove for dinner.

The woman in the green is one of my collegues where I will be teaching tommorow morning. She is a very sweet woman who demanded that her husband drive us around throughout the day. She took us to eat at this simply wonderful dumpling house, just down the way from the McDonalds and the food was delicious, but the food just kept coming and coming and coming--- between four people we must have eaten easily more than 60 dumplings. Best food I have had yet, except for this lovely soup I cooked last night. The other person standing next to her with the white shirt and not dressed like a group of mormons is Marc, the Phillipino gentleman I mentioned earlier in my blog.


Yet another example of the crazy mooncake craze that has plagued this nation like SARS.














Moments like this are what is essentially China. Crazy streets with everymode of transport attempting to share the pathway with one another. I love pictures like this because it shows how insane and totally choatic it is here. China is where old habits die hard and the country is builing and moving at record rates. This town of 375,000 was not around 10years ago. The University I am teaching at wasn't here 5 years ago, but it was 5 different colleges that they made into this one campus, etched ever so slightly into a mountain side.
As they say here whenever I express my amazement of things---"This is China". Read more!

The first day of school in Chenzhou

...and I am not teaching.
There is a national diving competition here in the city and most of the decision makers in the University are more concerned about this than what classes to assign to the English teachers, so Mr. Happy informed us yesterday that we all dismissed for the week, so I have a 10 day vacation!
I had originally intended to go to Hong Kong, but I cannot as my resident permit is not even close to being complete, which means I cannot leave the country and Hong Kong is just governed by China, so it's a no go. Instead, I am seriously considering making the pilgrimage to Beiijing for a few days. It is a whopping 16 hour train ride, but I am ready to see this country! It is a whopping 750rmb for a sleeping coach roundtrip-- $93.75 in US for 32 hours on the train--not a bad price at all. The train leaves from Chenzhou and I will depart either tommorow evening or wednesday morning, depending on if I can get others to go.

Anyhow, it is time to get the day going. I finally discovered that they do sell my cell phone charger here in the city, so I am going to go hunt for it, get a sim card and see what else there is to do.






Here are some picture I have been trying to upload for the last week, but with little success. These are two students who accompanied me to the city the first time I went. They were very honored to be taking their teacher to the city for an adventure unlike any other.










Remember these pictures of me at this weight--I think I have already dropped 10lbs in this humidity!
















This was a great shot. Most of the college girls here arent like they are in America! The idea of Girls Gone Wild in Asia is taking them for a ride on the Ferris Wheel!
These girls, like many other women here, do not know how to swim, have never been on a Ferris Wheel!!! I took them on an old, broken down ferris wheel in the park and the about peed their pants--it was quite amusing.
I offered to also teach them to swim for $50rmb per hour!

Anyway, I am off to the City!












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